Wanderlust Wednesday

Little late to the party, but as its been one rather soggy May here in Texas, I am jonesing for some beach, sun and well anywhere but here in need of a vacation.

Since J and I did not get a honeymoon or a babymoon, I am linking up to let you see where I would want to travel.

Yup, that's it. Its the one beach place I really want to go.

One Month

Yesterday was more than my first Mother's Day, it was Evie's 1 month birthday! Yes, she is already one month old. Where did that month go?

This month has been rough on Mommy and Daddy. We are both still adjusting to having another person in our home. You are totally formula fed and will take between 3 and 4 ounces every 3 hours. Sometimes, when you are really hungry, you can down 5 ounces pretty quickly. Other than that, you like to take your time when eating and "meals" last between 30 to 50 minutes. While this is ok during the day, Mommy almost falls asleep during our nightly feedings.

Speaking of nights, you are sleeping 3-4 hours at night, but never more than 4 before you are awake and ready to eat. Its the getting you back to sleep that is the hard part. You just don't want to miss a thing, so after a feeding its another hour or so before you are finally back asleep. I admit, this is a bit of a struggle for Mommy as she is ready to be back asleep pronto.

You are sleeping either in your swing or rock 'n play right now because baby girl, you need to be moving 24/7. You love to be swaddled up and rocking, swinging, bopping, etc.... You are not one to like to lie flat. You still love to be swaddled and if one of your tiny hands creeps out you let us know.

You look so much like Daddy right now. Your dark hair is still full and seems to be holding steady. I do see  glints of gold in it sometimes so perhaps you will be blonde like Mommy yet. You are probably about 8 pounds now, but we won't know for sure until your 2 month appointment in June. You are still in newborn diapers, but that may change soon. You are also in  between clothing sizes. Your newborn pjs no longer fit, but most of the 0-3 months still swim on you. And bloomers, well let's say none of those fit, so we have not worn any of your cute dresses yet. You have the longest fingers and toes, but the squishiest cheeks. You are starting to fill out a bit, and Daddy says you have sushi arms (aka getting your rolls).

Evelyn Ray, we are trying so hard to be good parents, but its hard. Each day brings some new struggle. Mommy and Daddy love you to death, so just hang in there with us as we adjust and learn.

5 on Friday

P.S. I love you

Well, you are reading this on Wednesday, but I am sitting here typing this a 9am on Tuesday. This Tuesday that still seems like Monday because I have not really slept. Sure Evie has slept and is currently napping away in her swing, but me, I am exhausted. It's not even the I need 8 straight hours of sleep exhausted, its I am tired of life exhausted.

I have what seems to be a never-ending headache from the constant hum of the Dohm (aka sound machine that keeps my baby quiet), the rock n' play, the clicking of the swing, the crying of a baby, the TV, or the incessant workers outside my window. I cry at the drop of a dime, the whimper of a puppy, a sale email in my inbox and any story on TV which involves remote sappiness. I have not worn make up for almost a month, let alone actually fixed my hair. I would like to go one day without a wad of fabric between my legs and the ability to cough without cringing. I want to just get in the car and not worry about a diaper bag, bottles, formula or whether my child will have a melt down in Target. I would like to go somewhere else besides Target.

I would like my husband to come home and see me how he saw me before. When we talked about more than babies, money, or how we will afford a new home.I want to stop being upset with him when he holds the baby for less than 10 minutes. I want him to come home with some flowers or anything to make  me feel special. I need him to snap out of his funk and "adjustment" period because hey, its an adjustment for me too, but I don't have time to be off. I am on all day everyday. I have to cater to her every whim, I just need you to cater to one  of my whims. 

I would like to have more to talk about than baby. I would like to post about a cool weekend, or cute new clothes, or a vacation, heck I would love to post about anything other than baby right now.

Motherhood is a struggle. It's not all sunshine and roses and happy cute baby pics people post. You will yell--at yourself, at your spouse, your friends who come to help, and you will yell at your sweet innocent newborn. You will hate the way you look, the way you feel and just about anything you can hate. There will be times when you want to just walk away and go back to "before." And then these feelings will make you feel worse about yourself because heck, the world tells you that you are supposed to have this wonderful bond with your new bundle of joy and you will want to "eat her up." You will feel guilty that you just want to get in the car and drive anywhere but here.

So, I leave you with these thoughts today and ask you to tell your mom you love her. Thank her for being her, not for being your mom, but for being her. Tell her how much you love things that are just about her. And, J, P.S. I love you more than words, even more than shoes.

May Flowers

And like that, its May. I wish I had some exciting news or a wonderful weekend to review for you, but also I do not. No, I spent my weekend doing manual labor on the roof of our townhome. The one big project we have before we put the townhome on the market is to redo the rooftop deck. Who knew 600 square feet of deck could take up 20 hours of your time.

So, as I type this, I have a sleeping baby, a sunburned back, aching feet, legs, arms, etc... and a deck that needs one more coat of resurfacer.

I do not even have any exciting pictures from our adventure in DIY. However, Friday night, J and I did get a little date night. My brother popped by and took Evie for a walk while we had some dinner out. Here are some pictures from Evie's adventures in downtown Fort Worth with her Uncle.

Happily Ever After

First, I want to thank everyone for all your support and love after yesterday's post. I am go grateful that there are moms and women out there who understand that each person needs to make the decision best for her family.

And now, I know its been almost 6 months since my wedding, but my photos finally arrived and so I give you a little snapshot of my happily ever after.