I admit it sometimes comes in handy as it requires me to strive towards doing my best, I know that while I cannot be perfect, I can put forth my best effort in order to be the best. Does it cause some undue stress at times, yes, but does it push me towards my goals, you bet.
But it has its downsides, i.e., stress. But it also makes the loss part worse. It brings on feelings of hopelessness and failure. I have often found myself wallowing in the downside of my perfectionist ways. I tend to dwell on it and let it get me so down that I cannot push forward. Its the one thing I know I need to work on as I enter motherhood,
And then there is survival mode. Yes, that is me lately. I have been forced to realize that perfection is unattainable and failure is inevitable at times. Yes, as I struggle to manage a 6 hour + job, a 2 hour commute daily, being a wife and preparing for baby, I am in survival mode.
This realization came late yesterday morning when I received an email that was less than complimentary of my work. I was upset at first because I had worked so hard in this project. I had asked for help, sought out advice and did what I thought was the best job I could do. So, seeing that it was indeed not the best hurt. But then I realized it wasn't the end of the world. I cannot be perfect, the best, on top all of the time. There will be times when I simply do not "get" something. If I truly did my best, then that is all I can do. I do not know everything, I cannot know everything. I am not perfect.
There, I said it. I have limitations to both my brain power and analytic thinking. Sometimes, just to survive you admit you did your best, it was not good enough and force yourself to survive. Survive by taking a deep breath and moving on. Accomplishing task and not letting the one black mark ruin your day.
Its about taking control of your life, your emotions and your outlook. Sometimes loss is good enough.
Perfection is God's job, sweet girl. Don't forget that! I have to remind myself of that quite often, as I am the SAME way - and usually stressed out because no one and nothing can ever truly be perfect, so my quest for perfection is often in vain. I am so proud of you for realizing that you cannot be everything to everyone - the perfect wife, perfect employee, perfect mother, etc. It's just too much for one person. As long as you know what your priorities are, and you have done your best, you are golden!:)
ReplyDeleteJess said it perfectly [ha], lady! You are an incredibly beautiful, strong and wonderful lady! Keep doing your best, but don't worry about perfection. I love you, we are in March now, the homestretch. It's almost BABY MONTH!!!! <3
ReplyDeleteWay to take it in stride...and realize that it's truly impossible to achieve perfection all the day. It's been in the last few years that I've figured out that sometimes being a perfectionist is more of a character flaw than a character strength. Just do what you can, and the rest will fall into place!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone! It's hard to not take one thing and focus on that instead of focusing on the 90 other things you did super well on. And there are always going to be people who have something to complain about. As long as you do your best that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteGirl, I relate so much to this post... you're doing great. I also liked how you described being type a as a good thing... you're right! it pushes us towards our goals which is really exciting!
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